Ryan Seacrest: Ladies and gentlemen, right now singing...
Paula Abdul: (At least we think it's Paula!) I love you Ryan!
Ryan Seacrest: (Confused. Approaches the judges' table) What?
Randy Jackson: She loves you Ryan.
Paula Abdul: (Keeping her back to Ryan) I do not.
Ryan Seacrest: All right.
Randy Jackson: (Laughs)
Ryan Seacrest: That's cool. I'll go over here.
(Audience titters. Ryan walks to where Idol Executive Producer Nigel Lythgoe is seated) Nigel: I love you Ryan!
Randy Jackson: Wow!
Ryan Seacrest: ( Double-takes ) Are we on the air right now? ... (Audience laughter, some cry out "We love you Ryan!") ...What are you guys sipping tonight? All right, singing before millions, here's Mandisa... (Points to the panel's table) What's in the cup?
Intro clip... Kenny: Mandisa has chosen a song with more words in it than every song put together that I have ever recorded. (VT shows Mandisa rehearsing with Kenny) But she does it really well. She... it's gonna be important that she articulates those words or you miss the whole story. But she's got such a spirit about her and I think whatever she sings she's gonna give it everything she's got.
Mandisa sings...
¯ Any man of mine better be proud of me ¯ Even when I'm ugly he still better love me ¯ And I can be late for a date that's fine ¯ But he better be on time ¯ Any man of mine'll say it fits just right ¯ When last year's dress is just a little too tight ¯ And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black ¯ He better say, "Mmmm, I like it like that" ¯ And if I change my mind ¯ A million times ¯ I wanna hear him say ¯ Yeah ¯ (Yeah) ¯ Yeah ¯ I like it that way ¯ Any man of mine ¯ Gonna walk the line ¯ Better show me a squeezin', pleasin', teasin' kinda time ¯ I need a man who knows, how the story goes ¯ He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin' ¯ Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind ¯ Any man of mine ¯ Now... let me hear you say yeah ¯ (Yeah) ¯ Yeah ¯ (Yeah) ¯ Oh, Yeah ¯ I like it that way ¯ Any man of mine ¯ Gonna walk the line ¯ Better show me a teasin', squeezin', pleasin' kinda time ¯ I need a man who knows, how the story goes ¯ He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin' ¯ Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind ¯ Any man of mine ¯
(Cheers and applause)
Simon Cowell: (Off mike, but still audible despite the loud cheers) What the hell do you say to that? What the hell do you say?
Randy Jackson: (Laughs)
Paula Abdul: (Laughs)
Randy Jackson: A'right so yo! Ah, I can tell this is gonna be another interesting night for me. (Paula laughs) Listen, ah... weird song choice for me and the beginning of it really wasn't that hot for me. It was like it was weird 'cause like you were finding you lower range and it just wasn't quite connecting.
Mandisa: (Nods) Right.
Randy Jackson: But the good thing is that at least at the end, the last 4 bars you got it together and showed some of that personality. (Mandisa laughs) 'Cause I was like lost! I was like whoa!
Simon Cowell: So you liked the end... you liked the end.
Paula Abdul: You liked the last 4 bars.
Randy Jackson: I liked the last 4... that's good. I liked somethin'. (Mandisa is heard laughing)
Paula Abdul: (Looks directly at Randy) 5 seconds of the song?
Randy Jackson: Yeah, the last 5 seconds were "great". (Randy and the audience laugh, Paula shakes her head.)
Simon Cowell: I liked... I liked... I liked the 4 seconds after.
Randy Jackson: (Laughing) Oh, yeah-ha-ha!
Paula Abdul: Mandisa, you can sing the phone book. You can sing the encyclopedia. You can sing anything. Your voice is amazing.
Mandisa: Thank you.
Paula Abdul: The song for me... I dunno, but who...? (Cheers and applause) You know your voice is great.
Simon Cowell: Uh, I thought the song was horrible Mandisa to be honest with you. I did. (Boos)
Randy Jackson: Oh! Tell us something you really feel? !
Simon Cowell: Why is it? ... Excuse me... Why is it I get booed for being constructive?
Paula Abdul: Because people... you're boo-able.
Simon Cowell: Well it... (Lauthter) No, I... whatever. All I'm saying is "Didn't like the song. We now know that this kind of music doesn't..." It was fun, it was cutesy but it was just... I actually liked the 4 seconds afterwards.
Randy Jackson: Well I liked the 5 seconds before the 4.
Ryan Seacrest: (Waiting for Mandisa to join him on the stools) Mandisa! Doing some Shania Twain. (Cheers and applause) Come on over. So, hey... (To the panel) ...hey guys? So tell me, you didn't like the song, did you like her singing the song at all?
Simon Cowell: Pardon?
Ryan Seacrest: Did you like her singing of the song?
Randy Jackson: I liked the last 5 seconds.
Mandisa: (Laughs and touches Ryan's knee!)
Simon Cowell: No if you listened. I said I quite liked her, I just wasn't crazy about the song.
Ryan Seacrest: And if you read the dictionary you'd know what "constructive" means.
Simon Cowell: Ryan, Ryan... I'm not the one who's trying...
Randy Jackson: Uh!
Simon Cowell: Ryan, with respect, I'm not the one trying to look like someone out of Desperate Housewives.
Ryan Seacrest: (Ponders. The audience groan.)
Randy Jackson: Whoa! Don't go there!
Simon Cowell: Lose the beard!
Ryan Seacrest: No, Simon, but you definitely fit the bill in that baby blue powder tight sweatsuit, whatever cashmir garb you've got.
Mandisa: Oh! Where's the love tonight? !
Ryan Seacrest: All right, let's get back to what we call a singing competition. (Mandisa laughs) Ladies and gentlemen, American Idol, Mandisa... (Gives out the voting numbers) ...For sure someone at the (panel) table has a flask! I know it! (Laughter) Good luck tonight Mandisa.
Mandisa: (Laughing) Thank you.
Ryan Seacrest: All right Darling.